Thus say The LORD \”I hate divorce\”
The man who hates and divorces his wife, says The Lord the God of Isaerel, does voilence to the one he should protect. \”For l hate divorce says The Lord of Host.\”(Malichi 2:16)
A woman is bound to her husband as long as she lives but if her husband dies she is free to marry any one she wishes..( 1Chorintians 7:39)
Divorce in a legal term is the legal disolution of a marriage by a court or other compitent body. Divorce is a legal seperation of a man and wife, effected for a course by the judment of a court and either totally disolving the marriage relationship or suspending its effect so far as it concerns the cohabitions of the parties. Simply put divorce is the ending of a marriage by legal process, a complete speration between two persons.
Well! Having known what divorce means both in legal and biblical injunctions.
Is it good to divorce in the first instance? It takes two to tangle to tangle.
\”There cannot be a great relationship without a decision\”( Owelle Rochas Okorocha ) Relationship is everything, that is why the bible says that two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labour for if they fall one will lift up his companion but woe to him who is alone when he falls for he has no one to help him up (Ecc 4:9-10)
If divorce of any type is good, God almighty who constituted marriage as the very first union of man and woman wouldn\’t have been involved in making them male and female at the begining and finally join them together as one insteasd of (1 + 1 =2) yet in such arithmetic when you add 1 and 1 together it ought to give you two but in marriage it is 1. \”Therefore man shall live his farthers and mothers house and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh\”.
Being one flesh l think means living together in a bid to subsume each others wills and intensions to one purpose thereby speaking and acting in one accord to achieve a better result.
It is a common knowledge that there are some attributes which may display itself in a relationship mostly in marriage that can lead to divorce, even in a circular world which is equally intendem with the word of God. Such attributes like adultrous act or inconsistency in attitudes towards one another.
\”If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house….\”( Deuteronomy 24:1); \”So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man (Roman 7:3 )
But when the pharisees and saducees wanted to tempt jesus, they posed a question to him reminding him that according to the law of moses, it was written that a man can divorce his wife after giving her a certificate of divorce and puts her away but Jesus anwserd them and said \”Moses did that because of the hardness of their heart but from the begining it wasn\’t so and l say to you who ever divorce his wife except for sexual immoralities and marries another, commits adultery and whosoever marries her who is divorce commits adultry\”… (Mark 10: 2-12)
What it means here perhaps to my little understanding is that it is no win, win situation because family is involved, no man is an island we need each other bearing with one another and forgiving each others fault.\”If anyone has complain against the other even as christ forgives us so also you also most do, but above all things put on love which is the bond of perfection\”
The question is if the case is reversed can a woman divorce her husband based on just sexual act. Well whatever the answer will be from my respected readers, my take is found in the book of (1John 4:18) there is no fear in love but perfect love cast out fear because he who fears has not been made perfect in love\” for love coveret multitude of sin. The book of (Ephisians 5 :21-22) says \”Submitting to one another in the fear of God, wife submit to your own husband as to the Lord for the husband is head of wife as also christ is head of the church and he is the saviour of the body.
Here again the bible let us to understand that submission is not one sided issue it must be carried out by both man and woman if they are commited and have reverence for God and fear of God.
Let the husband render to his wife affection due her and likewise also the wife to the husband, the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does and likewise the husband has no authority over his own body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with concept for a time that you may give yourself to fasting and praying and come togther again so that satan does not tempt both of you due to lack of self control.
Yeah! I am not unmindful of the fact that there are highly contentious issues which cannot be argued but in the biblical time and the world of today
When you compare some of the biblical injunctions as quoted earlier that may lead to divorce, you find some similarity of points raised in the Matrimonal Causes ACT Chapter220;sections15&16 of Laws of Nigerian Federation1990 concerning grounds for dissolution of marriage which is equally very absurd and will lead to marriages being irretrivably collapsed. For example, the court of compitent jurisdiction may put asunder any marriage or accept to give warrant of divorce putting to an end any marriage which has been found to have been struck down with certain unpleasant conditions like
There has not been sexual relationship or the marriage cannot be consumated
There is an allegation of adultery or adultery has actually been attested
There are some unreasonanle conducts which can no longer be torelated
Long abandonment or long separation from either party. This is just to mention but a few and all these put together may cause broken down of marriage.
\”Any one who divorce his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Luke 16 : 18 ).
You see then, two of them are supposed to be treated like a dry leaf that no hand can touch.
What a shame! .Is there no remedy in putting up with fool gladly?
Yes! we have remedy in solving this kind of problems, instead of excalating the problem, exposing everybody mostly the children of such marriages to untold hardship or other social ills.
\”Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their words……. Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing hinders your prayers….;whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from deceitful speech, they must turn from evil and do good, they must seek peace and pursue it, For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayers but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil \” (1peter 3:1-12 ). With these bible quotes, Seriously, it takes the two of them to work out their salvation with trembling and fear of God to make things work out.
The rate of divorce is actually sky rocketing and the proliferation of churches are not even helping matters because out of desperation to get quick money through lies and deceit, righteousness and holiness have disappeared from both the pulpit and the pews these days in most churches, rather what they preach now is more of motivational talk being garnished with few words from the bible to deceive their listners. In some homes families no longer go to the same church, scathered all over various churches they come back thereafter to the same roof with different doctrine you begin to wonder if God Almighty is differently disposed to churches according to the name of the churches, Has God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost changed? and has the word of God been altered? Is Jesus Christ no more the same yesterday,today and would ever be forever? Who will deliver us from this complications
I pray we go back to the basics and find out exactly where we have lost the glory and the grace of God Almighty.