ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Abuse means treating someone with violence, disrespect, cruelty, harm, or force. When someone treats their partner in any of these ways, it’s called an abusive relationship. Abuse in a relationship can be physical, sexual, or emotional. Or it could be all of these.

An abusive partner might use mean words, threats, or shaming. They might act with jealousy or controlling behavior. Or with physical or sexual violence. These things can start small and build over time.

This is an ugly story of a toxic marriage that lead to the death of a golden voice gospel minister of God whose voice God endowed for great worship songs to eulogies the Lord Almighty and for lifting up of souls. Osinachi was a lead gospel minister and the wife of a pastor Mr peter Nwachukwu,both of them worship and serve God in the same Church, one of the largest pentecostal churches in Africa (Dunamis) with its headquarters in Abuja.

Enduring a long time abuse in a relationship can be quite exhausting and pensive; it brings emotional trauma, constant fear and lost of confidence in the victims. Since the unfortunate news of the death of Mrs Osinachi the social Media has gone agog . Various versions of unimaginable stories were aduced as surrounding horrors, struggles and wicked tortures she had to passed through and endured in the hands of her husband Mr Peter Nwachukwu for the hurrible 10 years in the name of marriage.and these have open a can of worm concerning the church traditions and certain biblical doctrines which normally Comes to play out when people wants to justify why a married person must remain in marriage even when the parties to the marriage are no more compatible, some cannot see each other eye to eye.

The expression what God has joined together let no man put asunder means that marriage is a holy thing, and humans should not break apart a marriage

From the biblical injunction, separation in marriage is viewed as a misnomer no matter whatever the situation in such marriages may turn out to be except it got to do with inordinate misbehavior yet women are not seen to abandoned their matremonal homes for Marriage is considered for better for worse. 1Corinthians 7:10-11 Paul said \”And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife\”. These has been the fear of Christian women. The fear of not being seen as disobeying the word of God as such remained in an abusive relationship

However, there\’s nothing godly about dying in an abusive relationship. Definitely, its not God\’s plan for us to die out of ignorant because there are provisions in the bible that settles God\’s desires and plans for us. His thoughts and plans for us is of good not of evil to give us an expected hope and future.

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. (Proverbs 4:7) KJV.

Marriage is to be enjoyed not to be endured; it is not wisdom for anyone to remain with a serial abuser. Wisdom is profitable to behold; For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh. You\’re the one in such an abusive situation. You must act fast, Smart and be sensitive to the impending danger based on such behavioral pattern of your spouse when provoked

It has become the culture to see blacks subjugate women rights tied down to limitations due to religion. The lady in my storyline Mrs Osinachi had severally allegedly dehumanized by her husband and she endured it all despite she was almost the bread winner in her home through her music career which the husband always covet her proceeds to his selfish reasons.

Meanwhile the church which would have been the hope of the people without hope, the defender of the oppressed turned their eyes away from the victims of abused relationship. The church believe so much on the tradition of marriage is honourable

\”Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous\”. (Hebrew 13:4) AMP.

In Catholicism Since marriage is considered to be sacred sacrament, the Catholic Church doesn\’t believe in divorce and considers it a sin. But Jesus warned against divorced strictly because of the consequences of adultery lifestyle yet for some other immoralities you may put her aside not to batter her to the point of death.

\”And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery\” (Matthew 19:9).

Moses in his scriptures said \”Suppose a man marries a woman but she does not please him. Having discovered something wrong with her, he writes a document of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house\”. (Dethrounomy 24:1) NLT.

These are suggested senerios where couple into marriage can be separated when the two people involved in such a union are no more compatible. Even the preacher\’s of the word \”PASTORS\” some of them divorced their spouse when their marriages can no longer stand the heat of time and becomes irretrievably broken down, they will put away their spouse and marry another sister in the same Church yet such a pastor will still be revered in the same Church what a hypocrisy.

The church was aware of her traumatized marriage yet they couldn\’t do anything to save the ugly situation rather the senior pastor\’s wife Dr Pastor Becky Enenche of the church where Mrs Osinachi who was a led gospel singer and the husband a pastor in the same Church said \” DIVORCE IS EVIL, IT WAS NOT AN OPTION\” Could you imagine such views coming from a highly respected personality. No wonder Osinachi endured all the abusive situation and died untimely at the age of 42 years.

Most times women suffered untold hardship in a relationship due to fear of (What would people Say, if…. ). Syndrome. She hid all her toutureous experiences to avoid blames in other to protect her career and family.

It\’s time for us to learn to speak out when relationship is threatening and cannot be covered up. If by choice or default you find yourself in an abusive relationship I beg you, please leave to live. If you think you have been subjected to Emotional, Physical or Psychological abuse do not wait to see the situation abate under the same roof rather change position while situation is under review if need be.

\’While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue him from death. And God heard his prayers because of his deep reverence for God. (Hebrew 5:7) NLT.

Leave to save life, Coming back to the same unrepentant abuser is not an option. If your church is not helping your endangered situation, prayerfully take a bold step of not encouraging your abuser by always making yourself vulnerable at his/ her beck and call perhaps your absence could change a whole lot of situations for the time being [Time they say is a healer]. Stop worship of man, some of us because we revered and worship our pastors, every words that comes out of their mouth is honoured and is viewed as making sense which at long run affects the psych of the individual

BE WISE !! SHALOM!

✍️Mrs Blessing I N Onugha ❤️